This is a true story.
To set the scene, it was Sunday evening. We arrived home from a delicious dinner and a few rounds of Hand and Foot. Mark headed into the office to start on his homework. I thought I'd watch TV. Then, in the corner of the room, I spotted a bug. It wasn't too scary, so I tried to kill it with a flip flop. It kept rolling up into a ball, so I called Mark into the room. I thought I'd open the porch door and toss the bug out there, but wanted Mark to flip off the lights (so more bugs didn't come in). Mark mumbled something about not needing to turn off the lights.
So there I was, on my hands and knees, about a foot from the door. I open it to toss the small bug out and THE WORLD'S LARGEST - AND FASTEST - cockroach runs in directly for me. I swear it was sitting out there just waiting for the door to be opened. I screamed at the top of my lungs and jumped up and backwards right into our coffee table. I knocked everything on the table over and was literally screaming, crying and shaking uncontrollably. It took me about 20 minutes to calm down. And Mark didn't even make fun of me (because it seriously was SO BIG and SO CLOSE to my face).
The end result - one very dead cockroach (thank you Mark!) and one lasting impression from the coffee table. I told you I ran right into it!